I met with a beautiful family yesterday for a birth interview. One of the biggest things that made it so special is because I was interviewed by the whole family; Mom, Dad, and all 7 children. As Mom is telling me birth details to fill me in, each of the littles speak up at different times asking her to tell me about their birth. That made my heart swell inside me as I watched this beautiful mother tell her babies special details about their births. They were all involved in our conversation from the 14 yearold, daughter who was familiar with birth enough to add comments, down to the baby-for-now.
Since I am the oldest of 11 children, I fully appreciated the interaction. People think 4 kids is a big family. It really only feels like half a crew when you come from a big family. I have several babies in heaven besides my Davi so sometimes I feel like my heart was prepared for a party of 10 but only 5 showed up.
As I drove home, I thought about how this mom is sharing her birth experiences with her children (boys and girls alike) and how they will grow up familiar with birth instead of fearing birth. They will not have to go through the learning curve she has had to go through. This is so important in a society that has been conditioned to fear birth and to totally give the decision making over to the medical establishment. I learned to trust birth from my Mama. She taught me how to birth, how to breastfeed, and how to take care of a newborn with confidence.
I am 37 years old. My Mama is from the era when their moms didn’t tell their girls much if anything about birth. They go to the hospital, came home with a baby, nobody talked about birth details, and dads were shoved to the side. This was also the era that has so many serious medical issues such as Twilight Sleep, thalidomide babies, uterine prolapse due to pulling placentas out, severe nerve damage to babies from forceps deliveries, single closure cesareans, primitive anesthesiology, extensive episiotomy damage again facilitating delivery of babies with forceps for unconscious moms, infection, and much more. There is always a risk in birth but a woman’s risk of a traumatic birth greatly increased when she went to the hospital (not much has changed about this). Most births used to be normal as in they happened at home with no medical intervention and you only called the Doctor when something was wrong. Now 1/3 of babies are delivered surgically with most of the rest involving completely unnecessary medical interventions like IV fluids or enema. Oh yeah, Remember pubic shave? We know from research that this is all SO UNNECESSARY. Midwives and traditional cultures could’ve testified to this. How did such a large percentage of women in our culture become ‘unable’ to give birth the way they were designed, CREATED, to give birth?
Two reasons.
First off, it’s the taking of birth away from women, disempowering them in the decision making process. Obstetrics was the up and coming specialty during the Baby Boom. It was also the time frame when women made the biggest shift from home to hospital birth. That was during a time period when there was a lot of new technology and medications becoming available and the medical establishment was excited to wield them. No research behind the recommendations just pharmaceutical companies doing what they do, making a profit off of their latest greatest. There’s rarely any research to back the latest recommendations of today. Let’s schedule some inductions, they said. It’ll be more convenient, they said. There’s no research behind the long-term effects. Here’s some evidence based correlations linked to inductions: huge increase in cesarean rate nationwide, rupture of the uterus, maternal physical and emotional trauma, Group B infections after breaking the water (before routine screening was introduced; many babies died before they understood this), and more. Did you know that one of the negative things about induction is failed induction? It’s the same story with continuous monitoring. Looking back they have realized it adversely affects outcomes overall. ACOG even recommends intermittent monitoring for low risk women, stating that continuous monitoring hasn’t facilitated improvement in outcomes overall. So it is past time that the decision making in birth be given back to women. It’s not a medical emergency to be managed and it’s not a business with which to make a fortune.
Secondly, we need to teach our children about birth. The whole process is a beautiful picture of salvation. I think birth is important to God. He had the writers of the Bible talk about a woman’s cycle, about conception, and birth. God Himself uses birth as a picture of salvation. Who’s idea was it that it’s not ok to talk about these subjects?! God talks about it and so should we. That generation, that wouldn’t talk about private things, did us a great disservice by not educating our mother’s as well as by turning the reins over to the medical establishment. Now they may ‘let’ you have the things in your birth plan if they fit in with hospital policy. This is a very crucial part of the female psyche! Our girls need to view their bodies as the miracle working, life giving, magic milk making, world changing, female of the species that they are. There’s so much more I can say about the effects on the female psyche of our society as a whole. More on that later.
My Mama taught me a ‘mom bod’ was a beautiful thing. My Mama taught me breasts are for feeding babies. My Mama taught me not to be ashamed to breastfeed in the presence of men. My Mama even taught my brothers about breastfeeding and natural birth. Teaching our boys to approach birth in a non fearful, non medical approach is crucial. My Mama was something like proud of us when my sisters and I started our periods as if we accomplished something. At my first labor, I had a midwife, doula, and many support people encouraging me while I pushed but at one point the midwife realized that I responded only to my Mama’s voice and she hushed everyone in the room so that I could focus on Mama’s voice. She talked me through birthing my first baby into this world. This list could go on and on.
I want to be like my Mama when I grow up.
When I sat there and watched this family interacting, the way Dad spoke to Mom and about Mom, I recognized his respect for her. This. Is. Huge!! I looked at their beautiful 14 yearold daughter who was very respectful of her parents and completely at ease being involved in our ‘birthy’ conversation. Then the part where the whole family laughs so hard over Dad’s reenactment of Mom’s water breaking with one of their births! I thought to myself, this is how we’re going to change things, by making the facts of life part of normal life.
Best Doula Ever
My Mama
“Birth is not only about making babies. It’s about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and believe in their inner strength.”
